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21 March 2011 @ 11:29 pm
Yup. Finally happened.

I now know the feeling. The feeling of absolute glee and depression that guys get... when they fall in love with a video game character.

Oh sure. I've fallen in love with anime characters before. Which anime freak hasn't?

But this is my first video game character love. And sadly enough, it's my own character that I created. Oh the plot twist.

I can name plenty of hot and desirable male video game characters. It is a male dominated activity after all, and half-naked, model-like, ideal male characters abound.

But my heart was stolen by none other than a female character that I created. Quite female. That I bloody created.

I would understand if the character your playing is already "pre-made", like in Assassin's Creed. But I created her.

Now this begs the question of narcissism. Is she really me? Or is some of her pre-programming enough to make her unique? Though her actions are dictated by me, her looks are far from my own. So it might just be safe to say she's not entirely me.

Pathetic. But hey, sexy pixels are sexy.

In fact, I wouldn't have noticed her if it wasn't for the cinematic cut scenes. She went from "oh look, it's the character I created" to "huh, she's kinda cute" to "damn, she's so hot and awesome".

I swear it snuck up on me. I just can't seem to like the... well... normal generically ideal male video game characters.

And for the life of me, I can't decide whether to be ashamed or just geek out and go with it.

And yes, I do curl up at night with my heart in agony wondering the question of why isn't she real.

It's getting to the point where if the other members of my party get close to her, I get irrationally jealous. "Bitch! Don't act like you know her! Back off!"

For those of you wondering, the game is Dragon Age Origins. Please tell me I'm not alone.
 
 
Mood: lovedloved
 
 
09 January 2011 @ 02:46 pm
Oh mai. It's def been awhile, no?

Let's see... To sum up the past half year: got over ex-boyfriend, mind-numbing school work, dismal grades, enjoying winter break, and writing fanfiction.

I've resigned myself to being nothing more than a loser that writes fanfiction. Which is fine by me. And who knows? Maybe I'll try my hand at writing an original one day. :P

No really, that's about it.

School life is incredibly boring and I haven't had any major epiphanies.

Well, maybe one.

I've decided that I really need a serious hobby in my life. And I have confided in senpai that I'm going to try to start making clothing. Probably the most random decision ever made in my life, next to learning how to bake.

My inspiration mostly comes from the fact that I desperately would like to cosplay one day for a convention, and wouldn't it be twice as exciting if you could actually make the costume yourself? That was my train of thought at least. We'll see how it goes come summer.

If I could have these talents in my life, I would be the happiest girl in the world: good grades in school, baking, making clothes, and writing stories. Looks like I'll have to vamp my time management skills. About time I actually started making myself proud.

And yes, that means I'll have to let go of MMORPG games. Which is also fine by me.
 
 
Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
03 September 2010 @ 09:54 pm
Funny how I can still remember that song title from the only Atreyu CD I ever bought years and years ago. Unfortunately, I lost it barely a year afterwards.

Heartache. Plagued by my inner demons.

Oh, but those feelings don't make me any different from other countless girls who felt the same thing. It's something everyone should feel, no matter how painful, because it makes you grow up. Which we all have to. I can be as immature as I want on the inside, but I have to learn to switch on the mature mode on the outside.

Nine months is a long time. Certainly not a time frame that goes by in a blink of an eye. I should know, considering two finals weeks sure did a number on my mind. Ha.

Nine months spent with the one person I would do almost anything for. Nine months spent always thinking about him. Nine months that were granted to me to know him, to cherish him, to share a soul with him. 

But all good things have to come to an end.

He had his reasons. I cried. I understood. I let him go. We won't ever be what we used to be.

My inner demons tortured me for two days, hovering over my body and raining down memories, of laughter, of unfulfilled promises, of the realization that I'm not the one. I admit that I couldn't sleep by myself for two days. This feeling of unprecedented loneliness I had never experienced. We did everything together. We spent all our time together, both day and night. And to suddenly have that all change in one day was too much.

The worst thing to wish upon someone is loneliness. That's what I learned.

Then three angels came to me. The herald, my "older brother" Kyle, carried me through the first terrible night. My best friend at college, Jing, was the first angel, then my mentor and long-time friend Mellisa was the second, and the third was none other than my own mother. Their message was simple: you can find someone much better, this isn't the end of the world, you are free now, and look at how many people are supporting you.

I can't describe how blessed I was. So the only thing I could do was to move on. And that I did.

I'll never forget him. And I know I carved a permanent place within his heart too. But this is all part of life, and I was given the opportunity to experience so much with him, and not someone else in my place.

It's true. We weren't meant to be together forever. So I'll tuck you into a corner of my heart and look towards the horizon. Because I'm certain I will find someone who will be by my side forever.

Thank you, and you have my best regards. I know we will always be great friends and things will never be awkward between us. And that's the best anyone can hope for for their ex.

=]
 
 
Mood: pensivepensive
 
 
23 August 2010 @ 02:18 pm
Saddest day of my life.

The only thing that can top this is if a family member dies.
 
 
Mood: morosemorose
 
 
18 August 2010 @ 07:17 pm
Apparently, I was accepted as one of the new staff members for the Germancest club on deviantART.

...

It's like all my birthdays came all at once! >8DDDD

My day would totally have been made if work didn't drive me up the walls.

Fucking Jon. You're a loser. A really big one that needs to get your act together. You can be a really lazy asshole, you know that? So quit flirting with your roommate who comes to give you a ride everyday. Quit making free drinks for him when there's a line of guests. And quit thinking that doing three or four things on the closing checklist qualifies you as a great mid.

Do you see the checklist after I mid? The last column is pretty much all done. The middle column is mostly done. I even reminded you that the closer depends on the mid, and you sucked monkey's ass. And you're oblivious on top of that. Almost as bad as the manager. Almost. Even she knows you're bad. I hope you get fired soon.

And to that one crabby lady who ordered for her husband, either you get him to order for himself, or you know what he wants. It's one or the other. Asking you two questions (including one about size) is not "getting asked a million questions".

Other than that, I'm excited about the new school year. My apartment is rocking. My roommates are rocking. My friends from last year are rocking. Robert might need some shaping up to do, but that's about it.
 
 
Mood: soresore
 
 
 
09 August 2010 @ 10:09 pm
Interestingly, according to the name generator of Second Life, my name if I was Caucasian, would be Guinevere Orsini.

Historically speaking, that name would be impossible because Guinevere was a strict Welsh name until the 20th century while Orsini is the very famous last name of a noble family in Renaissance Italy. But they all sound European-ish, so at least it's passable if you were to name an OC that. (Not to mention it doesn't really matter if the person is American.)

Much less Mary Sue-ish than pairing up a Japanese first name with a European last. >_>;

Moral of this post? Name your kids and your OCs well.

Of course, it's possible that both parents are insane otakus and named their kids Japanese names despite their European last name. Or if the family immigrated to a Western country, and in order to have their first names more pronouceable, changed it so their first name is Western while their last name remains non-Western. Whatever.

Include that in your OC's background and it's all cool.

BUT! You have absolutely no excuse to make a common name and spell it all funky. In the end, you're just fooling yourself into thinking changing the spelling somehow makes the common name cool. It doesn't. All it does is makes it more difficult and frustrating for others.

And it's quite possibly the biggest Mary Sue feature. Might as well hang a "I am a Mary Sue" sign around your OC's neck.

Same goes for naming after an adjective. That is so out of style unless the setting is medieval fantasy. Don't do it.
 
 
Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
07 August 2010 @ 11:59 pm
Oh ho. Randomly decided to gargle some Scope mouthwash before I go to bed. (Along with brushing of the teeth vigorously and flossing twice.) It was a tricky decision considering I had the choice of either Scope or Listerine. In the end, I chose Scope because the color looked paler and less ominous. :B

Now I know why mouthwash states that it works against gingivitis and plague and bacteria that causes bad breath.

It just kill everything in the mouth. D:

Felt like somebody squirted my mouth with leaded gasoline and then tossed a flaming match inside. Of course mouthwash works. Just ask your dead mouth afterwards. x_x

On a side note, next time you're indecisive about ordering a drink at Starbucks, I personally recommend a toffeenut misto. Coming from someone who hates coffee, that's saying something. (Oh, and misto is with Pike Place of course. Or something equally mild.)

On an extra side note, FUCKING COP DRIVING NEXT TO ME GOING AT LEAST 10 OVER. Unamused Asian driver is unamused and pissed. 
 
 
Mood: blahblah
 
 
30 July 2010 @ 08:01 pm
Got my first paycheck today! :D (And I'm a certified Starbucks barista.)

Of course, I eagerly tore open my payroll while waiting for the bus and the first thing I notice is the large column labeled 'TAXES'. 60 USD of my hard-earned money all went to taxes. D8 Ah well.

I skipped home in good cheer nonetheless. My dad came home and he immediately took me to Chase to open my first checking account and deposit my money. My debit card should arrive within a week.

The whole process of opening a checking account is quite simple. The banker pretty much does everything for you and all you have to do is nod. LOL. But at one point, she told me that if I needed to pay my bills online, it's really simple with Chase. Then she asked me if I paid any bills, and I shamelessly replied with a negative. It was so sad considering my dad was sitting right next to me. OTL College student leech is a college student leech. But that's how we Asians roll.

I'm going to try and save up as much money as I can for the month of August because I've decided to buy a new (cooler) phone. It's going to be all touch screen, AND IT HAS A PLACE TO HOLD CHARMS! My current phone, while a very awesome color, doesn't have a hook for charms! I was so depressed when I found out.

I'm really leaning towards getting the Samsung Impression. Pic.

And yes. What totally attracted me was the slide-out keyboard. 8D
 
 
Mood: jubilantjubilant
 
 
28 July 2010 @ 08:12 pm
Way to perpetuate my fear of walk-in fridges.

I was working at the Starbucks in the Super Target like any other day. My co-worker sent me to re-stock the back fridge. I spent a good ten minutes milk shopping and then stacking the shelves to make sure the cartons were ordered from the most recent expiration date. Everything was all well and good until I got up to leave the fridge.

To my utter horror, the door wouldn't budge. I was freakin' trapped inside a walk-in fridge for 10 seconds. 

I started to push and pound on the door, and thank God it finally just sprung open. But if another 10 seconds had passed, I would have started screaming. And if yet another 10 seconds had passed, I'd be bawling my eyes out.

In retrospect, it would have been 100 times worse if I was trapped inside the freezer, where it's so cold that my bare hand sticks to the walls. I would have instantly died if I was trapped inside the freezer, no matter how long. My brain would just shut off from the sheer terror.

Which is why I always prop open the freezer door when I go inside.

Yeah... BRB going to have trapped-in-fridge nightmares now. D8
 
 
Mood: scaredscared
 
 
23 July 2010 @ 10:39 pm
So there I was, walking to the break room at the Target Starbucks I work at. It was just another day at work and my fifteen minute break was just starting. Nothing remotely out of the ordinary.

I was just at the door, about to enter the PIN when a little kid rushed passed me from the drinking fountain and a lady, presumably his mother, scold in a very harsh voice, "Oh my god! I do not want you to be drinking water from the fountain!"

Shit. Did I really just hear that?

Of course, it was only a sentence. I could give her the benefit of the doubt. She could not want her kids to be drinking fountain water for a number of legit reasons. Maybe her kid was deathly allergic to fluoride. Maybe her kid had a very low tolerance for ice water and would get bad diarrhea from it. Maybe she's just a germaphobe and hates that her kid is touching the fountain where so many other people also touch it.

I was there. I at least saw her kid just taking a sip from the fountain. If none of the reasons that I listed above applied, then a sip wouldn't hurt. So naturally, the first thing I assumed was that she was one of those corporate brainwashed mothers who thinks tap water flows from the river of hell.

I don't usually care about your own personal life habits. But concerning the heated debate about tap water vs. bottled water, I can't help but defend tap water.

One of the most important reasons that struck me is the fact that they put fluoride in tap water. The purpose is to help your teeth. Trust me, I've gone over this in my chemistry classes. It's a very inexpensive and easy way to boost your teeth and help prevent tooth decay. If the American Dental Association and the World Health Organization support it, then there's no reason why you shouldn't.

And it's fucking Colorado! I understand that in some parts of America, the tap water is just plain nasty. It can be all yellow or rusty. But Colorado tap water is awesome in comparison. I've almost never left the state in the ten years I've lived here and the fountain water all taste clean and great. And you know what? Sometimes, the fountain water tastes even better than bottled water. Bottled water just has this really distinct plastic taste that I can really distinguish. And it bothers me so much.

Best of all? It's free. That's all I'm going to say about that.

So honestly, woman? Your kid just took a sip. Quit freaking out. Colorado tap water is in good hands and your kid just doused his mouth in teeth-saving fluoride. Something that bottled water sure takes out.

Seriously. Quit acting like his stomach is going to turn to acid and that his spleen is going to rupture.
 
 
Mood: shockedshocked